Saturday 28 May 2016

Happy 5th Birthday My Love

All you ever do
make me smile
all of the time
all the time

 
All you ever do
change my life
every time
every time


Oh all I ever wanted
was something
and all I ever needed
was nothing


You will always be
in my heart
every part
every part

My minion turns five today. I woke up this morning and tried to busy myself around the house cos my heart felt heavy with missing her. I had a pensieve moment (deuces to the Harry Potter reference).

Flashback 4 years ago:

Leading up to her first birthday I was broke. Wanting to make the day special for her I manged to get together $25. I called my brother who was able to transfer $20 and skipped a day from TAFE to reutilise the $5 mum had given me for transport. I can still remember my brother crying over the phone with disappointment because that's all he had to offer.

I got her a $4 dress from Savers, a $5 cake from Woolies and three happy meals for her and her sisters. I recycled an old candle found in our randomcrap kitchen drawer, wrote "1" on it with a permanent marker, plopped the toys from the happy meals on the cake and our party of four sung "Happy Birthday" to her with gusto.

I step back from the pensieve into the present time with a giggle lingering on my lips as I survey the scene. I watch my three minions eat. I mull over where our lives were at and cry. The ugly-wipe-your-snots-on-your-sleeve-can't-breathe kinda cry. Up until that point I never knew that every part of my heart could love like this. 

All my heart can do right now is reach towards heaven and offer a prayer with the hope that it makes it way towards them.

To the three little girls that I was blessed enough to love and mother,

I pray that you will always feel loved. 

I pray that your feelings of acceptance will not be dependent on the price of your clothes or the brand of your shoes.

I pray that you will see the good in others, especially those you claim to love and like Jeffrey R Holland said trust the good, doubt the bad.

I pray that you will not tie your self worth to another's lack of ability to love you or see you.

I pray that your hearts will always be knitted towards each other regardless of time or circumstance.

I pray that you will travel the world in the shoes of another as you delve into books that feed the mind and nourish the soul.

I pray that you will use your experiences of pain to help gain a better perspective on how to love and serve others.

I pray that you will always hold onto the truth that you are the daughter of a Father in Heaven who loves every single bit of you.

I pray that you find purpose and fill the measure of your creation with goodness.

I pray that you will let the light of faith outlive the shadows of sadness.

I love you to infinity and beyond. 
Forever in the eternities. 
Time, distance and death will never separate us.

Happy Days
Sila